A reflection 

Dear January 4th

The day before my 22nd birthday I sit back and think. I’m 22 working a job I hate and barely attending college. It’s safe to say I’m not where I thought I would be . It’s sad but I think with all these roadblocks I will become a stronger person. 

But one thing has bother me so. My personality. My self. Where has it gone? To tell the truth I don’t have friends. I have people I hang out with but it’s barely. I spend most of my nights home alone with no text messages. I’m not sought after. I don’t have anyone who actively check on me. I think it’s because I’ve distanced myself so much people think I want to be unbothered. Or is that people would rather just go on like I don’t exist. 

I have so called “friends” that I’ve known since elementary. They don’t ever text me. They don’t ever give me a conversation that’s not about “getting back” and reconnecting. Every relationship I have forged is shallow. I have no friends. No person who randomly comes over. No person who shows up to my house unannounced no person actively caring about my wellbeing. I’m starting to believe it’s my fault. Did I become a person that is too hard to be open with? Did I lose the touch of what it meant to be a friend to someone as well? I try to make these things real but time and time again I’m met with the fate of being alone on a weekend night while my social media feeds blows up of bar crawls and party scenes.

I spent more time in my room than anywhere else my 21st year. Which is sad but that whole year I got to learn about myself. And in turn it’s that I don’t listen to people enough . So I wonder. What do you guys feel about me? If you’re reading this tell me exactly why we aren’t closer. Why we aren’t friends why aren’t we communicating more. I want to understand where the issues lie because I’m a open book and I’m ready to make changes to my life. I want this year to be drastically different than the one I spent last year.

Treehouse

I never had a treehouse

I never had a sanctuary

I never had a place to run and hide

Get my imagination roaming

Get my ideas out in peace

There was no space to explore

The inner depths of my mind

There was no painting on a canvas

There was no playing my instrument 

There was no drawing doodles

My mind stayed dormant

My childhood consisted of 

Trying to be just like everyone else

No adolescent experimentation 

No self discovery 

I’m 21 now

This is my mind finding itself

This is my mind freeing it’s restraints

My imagination has grown 

But the wings are fit for flying

So I play around with words

Play around with colors

Experiment with phrases

Draw new faces

I never had a treehouse 

I never had a sanctuary

But now I have a home

And people who love me

Who let me expand my horizons

And make sure I learn to fly…

Tick… Tock

Where has the time gone?

Where has the time been ?

Who watches over time ?

Who controls time?

For a long while

I only knew time as a measurement

Numbers rule my days

Minutes seconds hours 

Without time 

There is disorientation 

Without time

There is confusion

When did time become 

A restraint on my humanity 

Without time 

Who would we be

Where would we be

Time is mysterious 

But time is always there 

Lurking 

In plain sight 

Time

The omnipresent 

Hands on your neck

Cuffs on your wrist

Is there no escaping it ?

Summer Nights

Look up 

And relax for a bit 

Life is hectic 

The rooms that were built 

Sit about 3 dozen of us

We barely talk to each other

I got it

Sure

Can you grab that for me?

I finished the document 

Can you rework this for me?

Casually strolling

Through life

 like its a hillside

And the snowball I was

Is not the Avalanche I’ve become

5 pm traffic home

To a destination all my own

And without a second thought 

take off the work clothes

And turn on Hulu 

But tonight is different

Get back into the car

Turn off the phone

No notifications 

No ringtones

Just drive 

Until Its gone 

The lights start to fade 

In this huge city 

It’s easy to get caught up

Now it’s time

Get free

Look up

And relax for a bit

Life is hectic 

But now 

The sounds have 

Drowned out 

There’s calm in these

Clear skies

Star lights

SummerNights 

The Road Ahead

Today is October 10th, Fall 

Listen to this song while you read the post (Trust me)

spotify:track:6uebH2zFyW3yrgC8haeIWK

Celebrating my first post I would like to just tell you guys about what’s going on ahead of us for this blog and this journey that we will go on. This is a “not so personal” blog. What we will discuss on here is more than just daily thoughts but also bring in some culture as well.

There are also some surprises that will come later on, maybe some OOTD post and just pretty cool shit.

Also I will be writing weekly write ups about specific topics (Every Sunday)Look out for this Sunday’s post about the fall and why it’s the best fucking season ever. But honestly I’m just happy to be writing again and I hope you guys enjoy the blog.

Welcome to Death Of A Hipster 

-Blake

P.S. (Also after every post I’ll throw a little suggestion about something cool I’ve stumbled upon, You’re welcome)

Let this song be your song this weekend. If you like chill indie music and are looking for a new band these guys are awesome. Give this song a listen.