Loving yourself: Fighting your inner demons

February 28th, 2016

I know I’ve been gone a while but guess whose life has taken another turn? Mine. I will be moving to Florida soon (More details soon to come) but I’ve gone through a lot in the past month and I’m moving to live on my own! But one thing I have realized in the past month is your self worth and your past really go hand and hand. I faced some harsh realities lately like failed dates, being stood up, being kicked out of my house, being robbed, and also realizing my college life and friends just aren’t the same anymore.

Cycling through my thoughts; like I always do, I found there is a lot holding me back from my progression on growing up. These are my inner demons. Things I tried to hide away in the back of my mind and experiences I tried to shove away deep in my head. These things that go unresolved can come back and bite you right in the ass. Seriously it fucking blows. So one thing I did was face my inner demons and it was a hell of a ride. I had to learn to accept the past. Accept that some people just aren’t meant to be in my life and all the mistakes I made were just that, mistakes. It’s easy to get caught in a world of self pity. It is also easy to just stay stagnant and not try to change. Being the person I am I couldn’t be stagnant. I couldn’t let me life follow this same old cycle of being sad, depressed, and just moving with my life and taking the punches as they came. I searched for my happiness and that meant dealing with the harshness I had inside of me.

At this point in my life being a 21 year old full time working college student living in my hometown with my parents; there was no way in hell I could remain stagnant. My heart wouldn’t allow it. So to break these shackles I told myself to get up and do something that will make you happy. That accumulated into moving far away and starting a life on my own. At the end of this semester I’m moving away. To Florida with my best friend Kevin (I wrote about him in some old post if you’ve been keeping track) but before I left I had to take care of myself first. That is why loving myself is so important. I need to rely on myself a lot more now than ever and being in a shit mental state and being self hating won’t help at all. I am glad of all the progression I have been making lately and still have so much more room to grow.

Thank you for reading! I know I’ve been gone and I know I’m going to throw out so much excuses but I am trying to get a normal blogging schedule! I will be documenting a lot of my move and also I have some great stories and another sneak peak into my novel! Guys the love and support I get from this blog is so fucking amazing. Thank you so much. Go check out this song by the way. It’s been helping me get through these rough patches.ENJOY!

Best Friends: Going away isn’t always leaving

February 2nd, Winter

Now we all have best friends. But just where is this best friend? For most of us they are usually always over our house or you are always over theirs. This was true for me and my best friend for a while. From 7th grade to 9th grade my best friend and I were almost inseparable. We hung out at each others houses every day and did skateboarded EVERY DAY. We were skate rats. We went to school but usually put the books aside to go skateboarding. We watched skate videos and played skate on xbox all the time. It was all we did. It never got boring even if we didn’t say a word to each other while skating around his driveway we still enjoyed our company together. These days lasted for a while then in 11th grade he moved away. He moved to Florida and it was some of the worst times. I felt super alone and I honestly lost me way. But after the initial missing and as time goes by you start to understand even when your best friend moves away you can still be as tight as ever. I learned this and also getting older you understand, you don’t have to be around your best friend all the time to know exactly why you guys are best friends.

We stayed in contact and every conversation felt like we never skipped a beat. Even hundreds of miles away I still know I can call up my best friend and he can make me laugh and feel like we are back at his house just hanging out. To all you lucky folks that happened to have your best friend around still in your 20s how have you guys been going? Has them being there and you guys growing older strengthened the friendship or do you find yourself fading? I know there can be a lot of different variables when this situation happens but I know something for certain. Even when my best friend went away, he never left me. And with that I lucked out myself.

Thank you for reading guys as always. I wrote this because I had a recent conversation with my friend and we shared some big news with each other. We are going to be reuniting and living close to each other again! Im so pumped for this I cannot wait! Anyways you guys may have noticed I deleted all my social media. There’s a reason for this and I will be posting up that special blog next week. Thank you guys for reading!

-Blake